Joanne Spataro

Hi! Meet Joanne. I love random chance meetings. My friend … the one and only Amy Herman was meeting with Joanne at the Daily Press in NODA. Their meeting ended early so I jumped on the opportunity. Turns out she’s awesome. Incredibly funny but in a thoughtful way. She say’s it below but she’s not into dumb humor. It’s easy. She likes to make people think. In the end, twenty or so minutes together wasn’t enough. I wanted this conversation to continue. I learned so much. Did you know that Charlotte had a pretty awesome burlesque dancing scene. Me either. Learn something new every day.

Also, ask her about Pillow Talk because it’s weird and awesome. Oh, and pizza onesies…

What is your passion?

So I am a humorist and a writer and my mind is always working a mile a minute and it’s always been that way. When I was growing up around my kitchen table my family and I were always making jokes. It was kind of a fight to get a word in edge wise and kinda still is. You had to be fast. You had to be able to tell your story quickly, concisely and also make it funny. It was always a perk to make my parents laugh or make my sister laugh. I like to make people laugh and I like to make people think. You’ll never see me doing any dumb humor… nothing to obvious.

What frustrates you?

Boring, regular non-people. I hate that. It makes me crazy. People who are just like I’m going to work at this bank until I die. I don’t like it. I like people that get the bank job and then say they’re going to work on let’s say… their music or on a book. I hate people that sit by the sidelines and judge others for the art they are creating and they’re not doing anything of substance.

What is your greatest indulgence?

Oh goodness. I am a lady of indulgence. I have myself on a treat system. If I do well for the week then I go do something nice for myself. My greatest indulgence is ordering nachos, bringing them home, wearing my pizza onesie and watching either the L Word for the billionth time or Bob’s Burgers cause I really identify with Tina. That was me as a teenager. Just sitting in my own filth on my couch. I love that more than anything.

If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life what would it be?

Oh wow. Good question. If I could go back in time? You know I often say that I regret becoming a paralegal. I was a paralegal for eight years starting when I was twenty-two and I became that because my mom told me to do that. I don’t blame her for that. I was belly dancing and I had no idea what I was gonna do for money. I want to say that I regret being a paralegal. I don’t. It made me more structured and gave me some good stories. I do regret that I did it so long without realizing that I could live a life where I do Pillow Talk, my humorous essays and still make money.

What is your most embarrassing moment?

Oooo! Ya know, I don’t get embarrassed…almost…ever. I’m trying to think when I was ever embarrassed. Good question. So I was hosting Charlotte Pride and I sweat a lot. When I’m filming under hot lights sometimes I’ll put maxi pads under my arm pits. I can conceal them under my clothes so I don’t sweat. During one Pillow Talk episode my arm pits got so sweaty it was running down pretty heavily. My videographer had to CGI feathers from my boa around it to get rid of the stain. I was very paranoid about this during Charlotte Pride because it was August so I had mini maxi pads. When I was in my air conditioned trailer and I wasn’t on stage I wouldn’t put them on. When I went out on stage to introduce the next group, it wasn’t till I was done and walking off stage that I realized I had them in there the entire time. I don’t think I lifted my arms but I knew they were there.

Jolenna asked if you could instantly improve one area of your life what would it be?

Does that mean snap of your fingers and it’s done? I would love to be a full time writer and not have a day job.

You can find Joanne hanging out in bed and talking with strangers here or on Twitter @lookitsjoanne.